Writing your Final piece? TOP TIPS!
Olivia @ the BNC
25 February 2019
We want to hear your slam poems!
At the end of this Issue, we'd like you write your Final piece poem about how you feel about the recent rise of violent crime, what you think would help to reduce it and why.
Top tips for a great poem!
- Give your opinion. How do you feel about this and what should be done?
- What are your reasons? Why and how would your suggestion help reduce violent crime?
- It doesn't have to rhyme. Think about the rhythm of the words and the powerful language you can use.
- It won't be perfect the first time! Read your poem aloud and make changes and improvements.
- If possible, film your poem and upload it to the Hub. Otherwise, type it up in a post.
Comments (27)
The Ruth Gorse Academy 06 Feb 2019
I think Asma's poem is amazing! Im sure it will really inspire all BNC members as it summarises all that is wrong with violent crimes today.
Michael Faraday School 08 Feb 2019
Yeah
Michael Faraday School 09 Feb 2019
I think Asma put so much effort into it had strong full meaning and she performed it exceptionally well and I think I definitely got her message through powerful words.
Michael Faraday School 11 Feb 2019
Thanks for the tips!
Upton Cross Primary School 11 Feb 2019
That is a really good point
Birchwood C of E Primary School 12 Feb 2019
So you all agree that Asma has a very strong point on knife crime and how her poem can really inspire other people to come up with solutions.I also think that people who commit knife crime think its going to get them far in life but they think up so much of how its going make them feel better without actually thinking how they can affect people. Yet another thing in her peom made me feel sorry for those who get scared of those who commit knife crime. I also understand many people are vunerable to being lured into doing bad things but sometimes we cant think that everybody does these things on purpose. My point is sometimes people with mental health problems are targeted and made to do wrong things but really they don't understand what their doing ,and if they did it's something that would not only affect others but themselves. Not everybody wishes to do bad things because they think it will make them feel better but they just don't believe that other things in life can help them. And her poem really impressed me with how much thought and feelings she put in.
Hi happy_sparrow,
This comment has been given a star because you've shown that you've been open-minded and the poem has made you think about assumptions society might make.
John Ray Junior School 12 Feb 2019
I think Asmas poem had some very inspiring tips
Willowtown Community Primary School 12 Feb 2019
this shows such a good message to children and anyone else in the world
Willowtown Community Primary School 12 Feb 2019
thank you
The Ruth Gorse Academy 12 Feb 2019
I really like the poem.
Arnhem Wharf Primary School 12 Feb 2019
I think that Asmas poem was amazing . She put loads of information into her poem and she must have put loads of effort . I think it was the best poem I have ever heard .
Upton Cross Primary School 12 Feb 2019
Asma's poem was amazing it really shows you and tells you that young children do care. But these selfish people are going round with knives taking peoples lives. Based on this is shows people are willing to spread the word.
Newbury Park Primary School 12 Feb 2019
She is correct that knifes are not toys. They could hurt people or stable to death.
Boutcher C of E Primary School 13 Feb 2019
I really like this poem well done
Cowes Enterprise College 13 Feb 2019
Thank you very much for the help i greatly appreciate it.
Cowes Enterprise College 13 Feb 2019
Thanks for the tips, I was struggling trying to come up with what to do for my final piece. I am new here so any tips will help me out. ;)
St Barnabas C of E Primary School 14 Feb 2019
I like the poem about violent crime
Noel Park Primary School 15 Feb 2019
im in a gang
the police rang
i better not go to jail
id rather just bail
Noel Park Primary School 15 Feb 2019
im in a gang
and im in trouble
all because i was in a struggle
no im in jail and i feel bad
so using knifes and guns it makes people sad
Noel Park Primary School 15 Feb 2019
Im in a gang
now im in trouble
i ran in a trap
you will find me in the streets
soon in jail
Birchwood C of E Primary School 15 Feb 2019
Asma’s poem is great because she has put a lot of thought in and she has a strong point knife crime should stop. Her poem can inspire other people and make their lives change. I also think effect people’s lives and make them change so she has a point for that
Boutcher C of E Primary School 18 Feb 2019
BNC,
At school, we recorded our final piece as a video. My teacher said they would upload it a few days ago. Most of the others have turned up posted, only mine hasn't. In fact, there is no record of it on "My Posts". I'm really upset by this. Do you know what could've caused it??
Hello. Your teacher may have posted it yet. It's a lot of work for them to do all in one go so please be patient. It's half term now, so it might not be for a while!
John Ruskin 23 Feb 2019
I think Asma's poem was wonderful because there were emotions and powerful words and and she really took it ALL in. The emotions and powerful words are at a high level because she wants to teach those gangs a lesson they won't forget and afterwards they would regret what they and done throughout their lives .
Michael Faraday School 23 Feb 2019
I want to say Thank You to Asma she was extremely inspiring!
Birchwood C of E Primary School 24 Feb 2019
I really liked the poem about knife crime good job
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