Inerviewer: Hello everyone watching Squirrel News! Tomorrow is election day so today we take you to an average American citizen about their thoughts on it.
Interviewer: Can you tell me a bit about yourself?
Alexandra: First of all, I am not just an average citizen! I'm Alexandra Trump, but you can call me Alexa. I'm 18, I live in Texas (a Republican state), my Dad's a banker and my Mum's a nurse. I don't have a job; I've just turned 18 and my parents are so rich that I don't even need one. And, no, I don't believe in climate change. What a myth; if it was real I would have seen it by now. I'm voting Donald Trump because I'm going to uni soon and he'll make it cheap (not that I need it to be, but I'd rather spend money on designer heels or a fur coat). And also, why bother spending money on healthcare for this dumb coronavirus thing. At worst, it's a harsh cold. No big deal!
Interveiwer: How do you feel about tomorrow's election?
Alexandra: I feel really confident about tommorow's election. My grandfather will win. Oh, my grandfather's Donald Trump. He'll win because he is so good at persuading people with his money and he owns a bunch of Fox news. And Joe Biden is a communist! No one will vote for him because of this. We have the right to vote for who we want to win elections! He will NEVER win. #Hate Joe Biden. Trump RULES!!!
Interviewer: Why should people vote tomorrow?
Alexandra: People should vote tomorrow because when they don't bother and then my grandfather wins, they're going to come moaning and groaning to him and saying that Biden should have won. Or is it Berden? I dunno. Anyway, when they come crying to him. I'll just be like: "Well tough luck, sweetheart. You didn't even vote, but even if you did my grandfather would have still won by about a million miles."
Interviewer: How powerful do you think your vote is?
Alexandra: What kind of question is that? I live in Texas and my family is insanely rich! Not to mention the fact that my electoral vote is worth 38 AND my gradfather is the president of the USA! Of course my vote is powerful!
Interviewer: Can you explain why some people might not vote?
Alexandra: Well, if you're not rich and you live in some state like Delaware or whatever, your vote is so not worth the energy. Just stay in the stables or in some shop that no one ever goes to where you belong. Unless of course you're voting for Trump, in which case, hurry up!
Interviewer: What about the presidency. Would you ever run for president?
Alexandra: Of course I would. The only person I want to be president more than my grandfather is me.
How do you feel about the voting system in America?
Alexandra: For me, it's more than fair. Texas is worth 38 electoral votes! So my vote is worth 38! Donald Trump will win, I can assure you. So all of you people watching who want to vote for Joe Biden, vote Donald Trump or it will be the last thing yo do.
Thanks for chatting, Alexa Trump.